The Confessions of a Quinquagenarian

"Dont worry pumpkin. Apply for divorce. You deserve better. I am there for you always. I will take care of you."

I might be assuming here. But this is an underlining thought in quite a few men like me. It is never a question of whether I can provide for her. Of course, I can.

Being a 59 years old does not necessarily mean I can't have my wishes and desires to long for, in my life.

She is my only child. And these traditions have made me marry her off early to a puny little coward and separated my dear one away from me.

When she was five years old, my hands would spontaneously cover the table's sharp and wicked edge to avoid her head getting hurt. There is a part of my soul that lives for my daughter. Always. It is with so much affection that I brought up my girl child.

Anyone advicing me would have told me to make mends in the small fight my daughter had with her husband and to urge her to continue the life. But I might be selfish here to encourage her to take the divorce and come back to live with me. For no one, even her husband, would take good care of my daughter like I would.

It is not a big fight that she had with her husband. But I could not control my cunning self-centred urge to use this chance to separate her from her husband. This would mean she could live with me forever along with my grand children.

No matter what you might think of me. I am still a hero to my daughter. She would still hug me with love and warmth murmuring how I am the greatest dad in the world. You might think I am selfish, crooked or sadist but she would still attribute all these to how much I love her.

While I sit at this rusted steel bench in the busy yet lonely park and run all these through my mind, I have to remind you that there are quite a few fathers who belong to my breed. I might have company in many fathers of daughters. Some express it like me even if what we wish for doesn't happen. And some others might bury the thought deep inside, labelling it the devil. Others don't have to understand.

And anyway it is difficult to explain my last thirty years of life to you, who is ready to judge me in less than thirty minutes of conversation. By the way, I forgot to mention who you are: you are the seasoned side of my already wringled brain.

After all, I just chose to break the taboo and to vent out.

Vishy
29 Mar 2017.

See Five Sicily.

Act One:
In the theoretical Winter of 1989 at Madurai, Vel remembered vividly the nine-year-old-mediocre-self learning the game of chess. The regular knowing of another game. It was a mere coincidence, he learnt it. There wasn't much to it apart from saying 'I know to play chess'.

At the same time, in another unassuming town Rajapalayam, 85km Southwest of Madurai,  Sri was completing his school and preparing to enter college to study Physical Education. Perceived as another arguably ordinary major in college. When he went to the college, he didn't know that he and his field of study is going to changes lives. Many lives. Forever.

Four years later, the magician Sri joined the school as Physical Education teacher in which Vel was studying eighth standard. Sri believed in Vel equally like many of his other students and nurtured the chess skills of Vel. Later he would go on to inspire the whole school to play it. It had become a little movement among schools and talking point among many parents in the town and popular in the district.

Act Two:
1.e4 c5. On that sunny afternoon, Vel replied the opponent with Sicilian defence in the hut classroom of the school where the district chess competition was being held. Everyone including Vel himself knew that he was a substandard player paired against a reputed one. At the end of the middle game, Vel placed a knight fork for the two 'reputed' white rooks. Such a move was considered half won during those times showing such dominance on the opponent. The advantageous exchange-up was soon nullified to losing the pawns.

If that was a fork, in the next game, Vel was paired against the top seed and was chasing the top seed's king to take his Bishop to enforce a stalemate. It was indeed a thorough spectacular series of moves.

Hours later. After the games, Vel came out crying. He had lost both the games. Sri took him to the petty shop and bought him a chilled locally made Cola, paying from his thin wallet and consoled him.

Act Three:
Since then. Even after many years, Vel never knew why he cried, which was mistaken for losing. But it was just that he found himself. He never thought that he could do something like that until that day.

Be it finding himself, or be it the inspiration called Sri, or be it the Cola, Vel's life changed forever. He was even offered his college admission for his average chess skills. It was one of the many lives which was changed by Sri.

It all started with the Sicilian defence.
c5.

Vishy
6 Mar 2017.
dreamvis.blogspot.com

Folded and Untold

Today, I was picked up for a change after a long time. I felt the touch of your skin. That sensuous touch. Felt a little melancholic to be remembered after a long time.

It is surprising sometimes to be a victim of racism even though I am white. I have been around for ages and, been the true and only representation of what comes out of your mind. I have gone through abuse, crushed and thrown.

May be, I am replaced as much as possible. But I will never be extinct.

In the most intimate and difficult times, I have seen your blood and lipstick.

I am the Paper. And this is my monologue. I have carried several of your stories all through my life, and this is my story while I battle my depression.

Imagine this. Just before every award function, the anticipated notes with names to thank gets written on me and kept folded in the chest pocket. Only one wins the award and rest bites the dust as nominees. Four out of five times I never get opened. I remain folded and often end up abandoned.

Vishy
27 Feb 2017.
dreamvis.blogspot.com

2tripleO

This NGC technology is true or not .. I am not sure.. but by reading about satellite detection, can track up to 120 metres. And all.. my imagination raced and I took my imaginative horse ride to come up with this movie story line.. 

Cut and open the frame.. government announces NGC money for tracking the 20O0 rs. After few months, hackers hack the satellite and take control to know the location of the 2o00 notes.. then they get armed and attack the location to loot the money.. then it is hero intro.. one intro song here.. 😄 hero is CBI officer.. (don't know why) ... He first helps to take the satellite control back. And starts to track the 20oo notes, but the hackers have planned nicely to distribute the notes in random locations in small portions to avoid detection and suspicion. Now .. heroine intro.. one song😄 .. heroine is a data mining scientist who helps the hero in finding patterns of notes movement and locations.. and their links.. (avoiding banks etc) Just when hero and heroine go near the location, the hackers attack and heroine is injured.  Hero drops the mission and rescues injured heroine and helps her in getting well.. one love song here..  😍 the story resumes back when the hackers get the information about detection up to 120 meters, which they didn't know before. They make arrangements for non-detection of notes by storing at 130 meters below ground level. The hero, heroine and government and the people ofcourse are all stuck with a dead end not sure how to get back the money.. then in the climax hero miraculously rescues the 20oo notes from the hackers.. nobody knows how.. even the hackers.  That is the time hero finally reveals that it is not 120 meters but actually 140 meters.. this information was wrongly and willfully leaked by the hero to track down the hackers.  Hero gets Bharat ratna award from government.. 😉 patriotic song.. 😃The end.. movie title is 2tripleO. 😂

Not sure. Can use for both kollywood or Bollywood.. 😎

(Excuse me for all logic and story flaws. I am sure you will, as you even excuse other movie flaws by paying your own money to watch them on screen 😂😁)

Nagila

When first @Siva was asking @kk over the phone about nagila nagila nagila from the Kaadal Sadu Kudu song of the movie Alaipayuthae, I thought WTF is wrong with these guys :D then, i took a deep dive and found a few interesting correlations. First of all, it is Nagila and not Nagida (courtesy: Headphones). Nagila comes from Hebrew, in which hava nagila means "Let's rejoice". This belongs to the jewish and israeli music. Infact the song "Hava Nagila" is very famous. Hence, the use of nagila in the lyrical context, musical context and situational context (rejoice with love) is justified. As i said the song "hava nagila" is very famous as you can see that Prakash Raj will be dancing to this song (in towel after bathing) in the movie "Mozhi". And wait. if you listen to the instrumental version of this song, you will find the tunes of Ilayaraja's "En jodi mancha kuruvi" from the movie Vikram. So, what say now ?

- the most blessed are those who encounter the toughest times... because, God thought you are the strongest to handle these toughest...

I am Sam and Deiva thirumagal - Compare and Contrast

I have watched both I am Sam and Deiva Thirumagal (DTM). I am Sam is wholly an emotionally connected movie with the audience where the love between a retard father and a daughter wins all battles of the society. Sean Penn never makes you realize that he acted well. He leaves an impression that he behaves this way outside the movie. A true success for an actor. In DTM, several scenes have been inspired and copied from the original I am Sam. The acting by Vikram is as good as it could be. But not to the mark set by Sean Penn. Unable to resist comparison as Tamil movie derives most in acting and scenes from the original. Handling of the screenplay in DTM was quite impressive, given the complexity of foreign society setup and offbeat story line for Tamil audience; good work by director Vijay. Music in both the movies has been pretty well crafted for the movie. A significant gap between the movies is that the Tamil version did not capture all of the depth of expressions in the characters (other than thee protagonist) like the English version does which, indeed is very surprising, given the usual overwhelming expressions seen in Tamil movies. Enough of the comparisons. "Coming to the debate on whether to applaud for DTM, which is a copy/inspiration from another movie." I heard from some of the people that it is very bad to have copied the screenplay and story line from another movie and made another work. But the question is why do you care ? are we entering the theatre to watch movies and get entertained or as film critics ? why are we bothered about films getting copied if that is something Jessie Nelson will have to work it out with Vijay.. though it might be a remake/copy/inspiration, it has taken the same hard work to come out with such a decent movie where the story is good and the acting is fine. People download music, movie, then why do we worry what the film makers do ? For any creation, it needs an inspiration from another. Doesn’t matter if you are first, second or last... to mimic.

- the most blessed are those who encounter the toughest times... because, God thought you are the strongest to handle these toughest...

Making of "Suicide" and "Dreams in a Matchbox"

Last week will go into my book of memories. Yet another time, I created something satisfying to me. I never thought I could write poem on a given theme and time. Always felt it flows in your feel. But to my surprise, I was able to write the two poems on the themes "Change" and "Childhood". I never expected I would even qualify for next round. No modesty here. This is due to the fact that there cannot be any measuring gauge for literature and also I started writing based on Rabindranath Tagore's lines, "..those who is not productive in other fields, can at least produce literature".

Coming back to the discussion, the first theme given to us for the poetry was "Childhood". Also we were told not to google for poems. I decided to write a very simple poem by recycling some of my earlier verses. And this is not any plagiarism. This is my own work. There came Sath and told me to include a central idea in the poem and gave one. Child Labour. I could easily relate my town. Started working on it and came up with what is called "Dreams in a Matchbox". Looked good. I read few of the others' poems. They were good and some of their lines and thoughts were terrific.

To my surprise, I got through and went to the finals. Here, we were given one hour time and a theme, "Change". I could not think of anything. Was blank for the first 40 minutes. I tried to write something on love (which was easy) and then call it 'my first change in my life'. What a stinking thought !! (WTF) At last, thought of the weather outside, then about the Bangalore city, then about the dry weather, then about the change in the weather of the city, then about the theme Change, then about the sub-theme 'Climate Change'. Phew, got a theme finally. But when it came to describing the earlier climate in Bangalore, I chose to recycle my earlier verses and stay green :D

This yielded the poem "Suicide". I wholeheartedly liked this piece of my work than the earlier one. I got the first prize. Several people appreciated the poem. I was happy only until when I came to know that 22 April is Earth Day which I did not know when I wrote it. Shame! I didn't regret for I am just committing a suicide. (Read the poem posted to understand this)

The other work which took the hell out of me and was equally satisfactory was the tourist promotion for Somalia. I am OK with the entire work of ours. But I know I just did not meet the internal standards I set for myself. Long way to go.

Bye for now. Have some Most Important Moments of Life to catch by.

- the most blessed are those who encounter the toughest times... because, God thought you are the strongest to handle these toughest...